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Have you ever wondered if you should fake an orgasm? Or do you worry that your partner might be? Is it normal for people to fake them? The subject of fake orgasms can be a bit of a touchy one for some people. Many people feel that despite what others say, they never get a straight answer. It can be very upsetting and cause problems in a relationship. So let’s dig into the reasons people might fake an orgasm, why it can be upsetting and if it’s a good idea to do so.
Anyone is capable of faking an orgasm. However, it is more common for women to be the ones to fake them. A big question from someone who’s never faked one becomes, why? Why bother? There may be multiple reasons why someone may choose to fake an orgasm. Most of the reasons stem from embarrassment or concern for their partner.
Many women are extremely self-conscious during sex as they have not been raised to feel sex is something they should enjoy. Many women report struggling to orgasm and this often makes them feel inadequate. They compare themselves to porn, or what their partners have said about past lovers, or sometimes to what their friends say they experience. Rather than admit they are having some trouble getting to orgasm, they will fake it to make it seem like everything is ok.
The second major reason people tend to fake is to spare a partner’s feelings and move the moment along. If a person isn’t enjoying sex or is distracted by something else, they aren’t likely to be able to orgasm. Whether this is because they find their partner isn’t providing the right kind of stimulation for them or because they’re simply not in the mood, the temptation can be to try to get through the moment without disappointing their partner. If they fake an orgasm, their partner will feel better about hitting their climax and ending the activities.
Faking an orgasm can actually be a sign of some real communication problems in the relationship. If we are unable to be honest with our partners at one of the most intimate moments we share with them, it calls into question what else we might be being dishonest about. When the truth about it all comes out, it can damage the trust that exists between you and your partner. It can lead to some further communication difficulties as well.
Our partners might also feel incredibly hurt by the deception. It can make them feel foolish and inadequate. For anyone thinking that they are doing a good job pleasing their partner, it could be devastating to learn otherwise. People in healthy relationships are counting on their partners for honesty, intimacy, and safe space.
Aside from the potential of hurting a partner’s feelings, people should not be faking orgasms for one really important reason. Fake orgasms lead to increasingly bad sex and communication. When we fake an orgasm, we are teaching our partner that what they are doing is working for us when it really isn’t. Our partner is likely to go back to these same moves because we’ve led them to believe that it’s good and we like it. Once we’ve established this with a fake orgasm, it can be an uncomfortable conversation to say you want something else.
Many people choose not to come clean about their fake orgasm and simply suffer through the same things that do little to nothing for them. When we aren’t satisfied with our sexual activities, our interest in them naturally wanes. Sex will start to feel more like a chore than the enjoyable time with your partner that it should be. When the lack of honest communication stretches out, it can be the beginning of the end for many couples.
If you want to have a truly satisfying sex life, pure honestly with your partner is key! Building those communication skills and using them in your relationship will increase your feelings of intimacy as well as make finding sexual satisfaction a lot easier.
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