“What’s an orgasm?” is a question most parents are pretty unprepared for. Talking to your kids about sex can be a pretty scary thought, especially since talking about the pleasure aspect is rarely addressed. It’s not surprising. Many people are easily embarrassed talking about sex and there aren’t a lot of positive models out there. If we didn’t have good and open talks with our parents, it’s easy to feel lost when trying to have these conversations with our own kids. Our series, The Birds and Bees Made Easy, seeks to help provide some guidance in the form of providing some different responses, one question at a time.
“What’s an Orgasm?”
Talking about sex with kids is laden with nerves and discomfort for most people and that’s even before addressing the pleasure aspects. Lots of people feel that kids should only learn about the mechanical and scary aspects of sex and should never be taught about pleasure. It’s important that kids learn about the pleasing aspects of sex as well. If they don’t, then when they hit their puberty and start dating, they are more likely to be overwhelmed. By not discussing the pleasure aspects, kids end up discovering them on their own at a time when puberty is already making life fairly confusing.
There is nothing wrong with being a matter of fact of what an orgasm is or that sex is involved in pleasure. As always, it’s a good idea to find out where your kid’s curiosity about a particular aspect is coming from. This will guide you on what depth of answer they are really looking for. Keep the answers simple and remember that you can always expand. When you notice the interest from your child waning, don’t be afraid to end this part of the conversation. Remind them they can always come back with more questions.
Being Open & Honest With Your Kids
Do you want your kids to come to you with more difficult challenges and dating advice when they get older? It starts with establishing the trust that you will give them honest answers and be open with them about sexuality and relationships. The more you can establish this when they are young and throughout their lives, the more likely they are to turn to you when they really need help.
