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Sex Talk
Is Porn Real?
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Is porn real? Is it a good way to learn about sex? Many people think that watching porn can teach them how to be better in bed. It seems like a great place to pick up tips right? Well maybe not. Porn is all staged sex, it’s not actually real.
What Do You Mean Porn Isn’t Real? It’s Sex, Doesn’t That Make Porn Real?
Porn is all about fantasy. That’s the whole point. It is scripted and designed to be stimulating and exciting. In the fantasy world, two people, often strangers, come together and are having sex within minutes of meeting each other. The strangers know how to please each other, what the other person wants, and both are always into it.
The people who perform in porn are actors. They are paid to act like they are enjoying it whether they are or not. Their money is earned from putting on a good show, not enjoying what they are doing. It doesn’t mean that they can’t enjoy their job but it is a job nonetheless.
Have you ever had a day when you’ve had to go into work but you didn’t really feel like it? We all have. We put on a smile and head off to our job and do our best to do it well. Pornstars are no different.
The other thing to be aware of is that not only is porn scripted and designed for its intended audience but there are a lot of things you don’t see. Some scenes may be reshot multiple times. There are a whole bunch of people on set to control the cameras, lighting, direction. The industry has workers called “fluffers” who help actors stay stimulated and ready between takes.
The entire environment of porn is controlled. It’s carefully thought out, packaged sex. None of this makes porn real.
Porn Doesn’t Show Real World Sex
What isn’t shown during porn is all the aspects of sex that take place in the real world. In the real world, there is negotiate and communication. People discuss boundaries, consent, sexual desires, and more. These things are usually totally ignored in porn.
Porn also doesn’t show some of the realities of sex like:
- Sometimes sex positions don’t always work the way you expect.
- There are moments where sex is silly and laughter is appropriate.
- People can also have different levels of arousal at different times.
- Not everyone is ready to have sex all the time.
- Negotiation of consent and boundaries
- Vanilla sex is just as OK as kinky sex
- Not all sex ends in orgasms
- Not all sex extends for half an hour or more
- People will all kinds of body types have sex
- How to use safer sex methods
- Every person wants a threesome
- Every penis and vulva looks the same
- Having sex during that time of the month
All of these things are really just the tip of the iceberg. This list just gives you an idea of just a few of the ways that porn fails to pass as real sex. An important thing to remember is that what looks good in porn doesn’t always mean that it feels good.
Should You Watch Porn?
As with so many other things concerned sexuality, this is a highly personal answer. How you choose to interact with porn can have an effect. The decisions that a person makes about what kinds of porn and how often they are watching it can impact their sexual tastes. It may end up affecting their sexual needs. All of this can play out into influencing the types of relationships people are engaging in.
You may enjoy watching porn and there’s nothing wrong with that. You just need to remember that it’s as real as any other movie. These things could happen, and in some cases they do, but it doesn’t mean they’re going to. Porn is meant to be a supplement that adds enjoyment to sex. It shouldn’t be used to replace it.
Don’t Learn About Sex From Porn
There is so much that can be learned about sex that is not covered in porn. If you are relying on porn to teach you how to have better sex, you are missing more than half of the picture. You will also get some really distorted views on what sex actually looks like. There are significantly better ways to learn ways to improve your sex life.
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